This past weekend we had one last hurrah before Brown-Eyed Boy starts kindergarten.
I make it sound like starting kindergarten is equivalent to the world ending, but that's because it is.
A piece of my world is ending. The piece where I am part of Brown-Eyed Boy's every day, every hour, every minute, always there to play with him and laugh with him and dry his tears, there to hold him close and protect from all the scary things out there in real life.
I know he will love school, and he's definitely ready, but it breaks my heart to think of all the not-so-fun things that happen there, to think that he is growing up and this little step into kindergarten is just the first of many that will take him far away from me.
I'm not ready to let go, even in this small way. I wish I could protect him from everything that could ever hurt him. I know I can't, and I know it wouldn't be good for him if I did, but I wish I could.
Am I the only mother who isn't dancing a jig as she sends her firstborn off to school? This is supposed to be a happy time, right?
Being pregnant probably isn't helping.
Tomorrow I will put on a happy face while Brown-Eyed Boy dresses in his new school clothes and slips into his backpack. I will walk him to his classroom, watch him settle into his seat, and smile as I wave goodbye to him. I will accept that school is now part of our lives and do everything I can to help Brown-Eyed Boy succeed.
But today, I'm going to cry.
Because I swear it was just yesterday that he looked like this:
They don't lie when they say they grow up so fast.
And I love every minute of it,
The Brown-Eyed Girl