I am constantly after Brown-Eyed Boy for being too rough with his sister and my patience, which is short to begin with, swiftly wears down to nothing. I am overly harsh when Brown-Eyed Boy doesn't want to sit on the self-flushing toilet at the store. Family Home Evening turns into little more than a desperate attempt to teach Brown-Eyed Boy something about the gospel in between his demands for a popsicle. Baby Blue Eyes falls off the changing table. She is unhurt, but screaming her head off.
For a moment the three of us sit on Brown-Eyed Boy's bed, crying.
Some days I just don't feel like I can do it. I feel like my children are going to grow up completely messed up, or, at the very least, hating my guts.
Some days I berate myself with the words, "You are a horrible mother."
Being a mother is hard, and Satan works even harder to discourage mothers at every chance he can get.
The reason why hit me one day while Baby Blue Eyes was sleeping in my arms. I realized that Satan will never have this. He will never have a body, or a family, or perfect moments when he looks down into his sleeping daughter's beautiful face and realizes he has everything--everything.
No wonder he is battling so fiercely against the family. He must be really, truly miserable.
But thankfully we have the Lord's help in being mothers, in overcoming Satan's lies, in everything we do.
One difficult afternoon, while the boys were playing outside and the baby was sleeping, I knelt down beside my bed and asked the Lord for help. The only sound was the buzzing of bugs outside. It was so quiet, so still, I could literally feel Heavenly Father bending His ear to listen to me as soon as I said His name.
Isn't it amazing that the God of the whole universe loves us enough to listen to our prayers?
Dieter F. Uchtdorf, second counselor in the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, taught:
"[T]he most powerful Being in the universe is the Father of your spirit. He knows you. He loves you with a perfect love.
God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him."
Find the rest of President Uchtdorf's message here.
We matter to Him. He is aware of us, even on those messy, frustrating, off-center days when we feel lousy at everything we do.
Especially on those days.
The Brown-Eyed Girl